The mystery novel’s narrator, Lu Fairchild, is also the author of two additional kinds of writing I’m doing as part of this project: first, my academic dissertation, and second, queer fanfiction that explores questions of consent, vulnerability, desire, and the complicated relationship between what we read and write and what we actually want and/or approve of in real life. You can find her fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lufairchild.

Fanfiction is a place where many queer folks explore their sexuality, from their identity to their desires to their politics. This community of readers and writers is often described as a gift economy, where labor is exchanged through comments, fics, fanart, being a beta (i.e. editing someone’s fic), and recommending other people’s works. Many people find smaller circles of friends, readers, and critique partners in individual fandoms and ships (i.e. romantic pairings). There’s a long history of transformative fandom as a refusal of both the traditional publishing market and the priorities of commercial erotica–an alternative site for queer, trans, nonbinary, and women writers to embrace their creativity and sexuality.

There’s also a long history of fandom policing by those who believe only certain kinds of stories or ships are morally acceptable. Current hot-button issues include fics about nonconsensual sex and sex involving minors; lots of fans argue that some or all of those fics should be condemned or even banned. This position stems largely from a belief in a direct, transparent relationship between what we read/write and what we want/do/are okay with outside of fantasy and fiction. It amounts in many ways to a kind of sex panic, and those who disagree with its tenets are immediately marked as bad people. In addition to its lack of nuance, this sex panic often distracts from discussions about racism in fandom: those who are upset about depictions of harmful or supposedly harmful sexual behavior often distract from issues of racism by focusing solely on sex, while those against censoring fic often lump critiques of racism in with sexual purity politics.

Lu’s fic, in combination with the mystery novel and academic writing, explores how we might make room for questionable or “bad” sexual fantasies and desires in queer sex writing–and how we might do this in a way that actually works against sexual harm in real life. Following in the tradition of queer writers in the 80s and 90s who wrote explicitly about sex, fantasy, and violence, Lu’s fic attempts to ethically, thoughtfully refuse sexual purity politics.